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The Parent Trap...

Posted by Barnaby on April 24, 2014 at 7:45 PM

A friend posted this link on Facebook. I think people assume it's 'brave' to write these sorts of things. It isn't. So, here's the link to read and then below is my response to read afterwords... 

http://www.umbrelr.com/young-mother-giving-kids-dont-blame-her/

 

Totally disagree. Not with everything but with the main points. When you're a child, you need that attention. It isn't teaching them to be an adult by ignoring them. That's hurting them. As they grow, they will learn. That is the nature of evolution, the human brain and the society/school we deposit them into as adults. They are only young once and children need to feel love, security, encouragement and have their hands held. If you decide to be a parent, you need to think about this beforehand. It's very easy to say you're other things beside a parent but, essentially, that's passing the buck. No. You chose to bring a child into the world and, until they can fend for themselves, they are your main focal point. In actuality, it's the immaturity and selfishness of 'our' generation that makes parenting difficult. My parent's generation didn't stop and write self-pitying blogs or try to change how other people think or attempt to get as many 'shares' as they can with their attitude. It's very easy to say 'every parent is different' to try and deflect criticism but, in essence, that's not true. Every parent should be exactly the same. I don't mean in a 'Stepford Wives' type way but in how they embrace and nurture their child. Don't ignore them when they want attention because, rather than create perfect little adults who can fend for themselves, it will - in actuality - make adults who crave attention and feel loneliness. So, far from being the perfect way of dealing with a needy child, you're actually creating a needy adult. She's using adult examples of childish behaviour too. No adult would expect to have their hand held to go through a task that your Boss sets you because, by then, you would have learnt the necessary skills to think and act independently. That's what school, college, university is for. You're learning. And, as a child grows, they are LEARNNG about the world around them.

 

Yes, good manners need to be taught and, yes, you shouldn't have to resort to electronic devices to keep your child quiet, but no that doesn't make you a better parent because you're teaching your child the supposed value of being an adult early on in life.

 

So, I don't agree with it, no. In fact, I strongly disagree and not in the way she thinks. I don't like this whining culture of our generation, who have had more perks and technological developments than any other generation. We take to social media to tell the world our problems because we think the world wants t know how we think, what we feel and who we are. It's needy. Like a child. So, love your children unconditionally. Don't try and teach them to exhibit adult behaviour until they are an adult (and even adults don't want to be adults) and don't try and pin the blame on a society that - as an adult - you've contributed to making the way it is.

 

This is just yet another post about parenting that tries to make you feel okay to ignore your children or to tell you to be who you are and not a full-time mother/father. No. If you have children, you've made that decision to love, care and pander to them. That's what they need. If you can't handle it, then you should have thought long and hard about having them in the first place.

 

Rant over.


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